We had another fairly strong earthquake today. I have no idea what's considered an aftershock from Friday's quake, what's considered a new quake, and if any of the quakes/aftershocks that we've received are fulfilling the predicted 60%-70% chance of a similarly-sized follow-up. But I've been getting new earthquake notifications on my phone for the past couple of days, with some of the quakes being strong and some being comparatively minuscule. Granted, I got no earthquake notification for the world's fifth largest earthquake. So who knows how much credence I should give them. But I did sleep fairly wonderfully when back in my own bed last night, despite the ongoing tremors throughout the night.
That said, the first of the teachers in my group, a couple, understandably headed toward Narita as soon as this afternoon's earthquake hit. We are all on edge. And with no idea of when these quakes and nuclear uncertainties will subside, several of my coworkers have bags packed so that, if necessary, they can head out the door at a moment's notice. With no obligation to go school until Friday and with today's large tremor, I've decided that I will join the ready-to-leave-at-a-moment's-notice group. If I do leave, I'll certainly be leaving behind some of the clothing that I brought with me. And I may not be able to bring home all of the precious notes and other gifts given to me by students and parents. So I'm doing the difficult sorting today to pare down to one checked bag and one carry-on.
Yet if it comes down to making the decision to leave, it's not going to be an easy one. I've long felt God's calling for me to be in Japan. Though I appreciate the refinement I've received since coming here, it's been an extremely painful process and doesn't fit with the awesome-yet-nebulous gifts that I thought I would receive by following His calling. I've felt like an outsider at school the entire time I've been here. I've been sick more than I've been healthy since arriving. And I've not taught EBC at church since October, when all three of my students stopped coming. So though I decided to stay for a second year, that decision was reached only after wrestling with the Lord for several months. Ultimately, my decision to stay was based on my desire to be obedient to His will and to not miss out on whatever He wants to do in me and through me by being here. If I decide to leave as a result of these quakes, tsunami, and potential nuclear danger, I feel like though leaving is wise in man's eyes, it's disobedience in God's eyes. Please pray for me that I'll make a Spirit-led decision.
Until next time...
4 comments:
I want to remind you of so many of the verses we have discussed in the past concerning God's plan and the future. Rest in the peace that He will work whatever decision you make (inside and outside of His will) for good. Because you love Him, because you are assuredly called according to His purposes. If you return, contact me.
Hi Rebecca,
Denise Waldrop forwarded me your post. I can't imagine all you are going through. We were missionaries in West Africa for 13 years, and never went through anything like that. We once had to bug out to a neighboring country four a couple of weeks because of political instability, rioting, etc.
I agree with what Christy seemed to be saying -- it's not like there's one and only one thing you can do and be in God's will. If you decide to leave, it certainly won't be out of rebellion against him or lack of love for the Japanese people, but out of a prayerful assessment of how effective you can be in these circumstances. He will be pleased with you whatever you do, as long as you hold closely to him.
--Anthony Parker (Albany, TX)
Christy and Anthony, thank you so much for your encouragement. It's easy for me to believe when I tell others that God's will for our lives isn't necessarily narrow and that He can use all our decisions for His glory. But when it comes to believing that advice for my own life, I give myself a different standard.
Rebecca, My men's Bible study prayed for you tonight. You maynot remember me, I am Christina's Father. My prayer for you is that you Trust in Him, and if He is calling you to Japan, that you will recieve His rest as well during this storm. That you will sleep as He slept in midst of the storm when His deciples feared for thier lives. I pray for wisdom for you and hope. May Gid Bless you. I am sharing you blog site with others.
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