Why I'm staying in Japan

As I was wrestling with God last summer about leaving Japan, I was working through a Bible study on the lives of the women of Genesis. (Coincidentally, or perhaps providentially, I had worked through another study in the series when God re-called me to move to Japan last November.) Lot’s wife taught me that looking backward when I should be looking forward might prevent me from reaching a physical and/or spiritual safe haven that the Lord has prepared for me. And Sarah’s life showed me how taking matters into my own hands in order to hasten the delivery of a promise may result in greater distress. These stories of Abraham’s family greatly influenced my decision to stay in Japan.

While I would never presume to consider myself worthy of being included in the Hall of Faith with Abraham, in many ways I felt and continue to feel somewhat like him – God called both of us to leave our countries, our people, and our families in order to go to a different land. Here, though, the similarities in our situations end, and not just because he went with his wife, nephew, and entire household of servants and possessions whereas I went alone with two suitcases and a backpack. Although Abraham had no idea of where he was headed when he left his homeland, he knew what he would receive in that land because of the promise the Lord had given to him before he left. I, on the other hand, knew to what land I was going, although I had and continue to have no idea of what I might receive here because the Lord made me no promises other than those which are common to all believers, e.g., He will never leave nor forsake me. So to stay in Japan would require me to truly walk by faith.

When I considered that the Israelites wandered through the wilderness for 40 years because of their lack of faith and that some looked back toward the certainty of slavery rather than looked forward toward the uncertainty of the Promised Land, I wondered what unknown promise or gift I might deny myself if I were to leave Japan. So I decided to stay to see what the Lord had planned for me here in Japan when He first called me all those years ago. Yet knowing and believing all this didn’t stop the fear from setting in during the days following the earthquake, tsunami, and nuclear plant problems. So once again I found myself wanting to leave Japan despite knowing that the Lord hadn’t conditioned my stay with an early-departure clause for natural disaster. Once again I found myself praying for another clear indication that God wanted me to stay in Japan such as I’d prayed for when He re-called me to Japan almost 16 months ago. And once again the Lord proved faithful in graciously overlooking my fear in order to answer the prayer of my heart.

The aftershocks continue to come each day. I now must pore over produce and dairy labels at the grocery store. And I feel lost over here in so many ways. But my kouchou-sensei (principal) asked me to stay next year instead of telling me to return to America, which was my post-earthquake fleece for distinguishing the Lord’s will. So I have to remind myself everyday that this is where I’m supposed to be this day. I don’t know if Japan is my literal or figurative Promised Land or just a rest stop on the road there. But I do know that I want my faith to be more than a t. So I will stay in Japan for a second year. Pray that I will seek the Lord’s guidance in November when making the decision about a third year.

Until next time…

George Michael's "Faith" certainly didn't look like this.

We had another fairly strong earthquake today. I have no idea what's considered an aftershock from Friday's quake, what's considered a new quake, and if any of the quakes/aftershocks that we've received are fulfilling the predicted 60%-70% chance of a similarly-sized follow-up. But I've been getting new earthquake notifications on my phone for the past couple of days, with some of the quakes being strong and some being comparatively minuscule. Granted, I got no earthquake notification for the world's fifth largest earthquake. So who knows how much credence I should give them. But I did sleep fairly wonderfully when back in my own bed last night, despite the ongoing tremors throughout the night.

That said, the first of the teachers in my group, a couple, understandably headed toward Narita as soon as this afternoon's earthquake hit. We are all on edge. And with no idea of when these quakes and nuclear uncertainties will subside, several of my coworkers have bags packed so that, if necessary, they can head out the door at a moment's notice. With no obligation to go school until Friday and with today's large tremor, I've decided that I will join the ready-to-leave-at-a-moment's-notice group. If I do leave, I'll certainly be leaving behind some of the clothing that I brought with me. And I may not be able to bring home all of the precious notes and other gifts given to me by students and parents. So I'm doing the difficult sorting today to pare down to one checked bag and one carry-on.

Yet if it comes down to making the decision to leave, it's not going to be an easy one. I've long felt God's calling for me to be in Japan. Though I appreciate the refinement I've received since coming here, it's been an extremely painful process and doesn't fit with the awesome-yet-nebulous gifts that I thought I would receive by following His calling. I've felt like an outsider at school the entire time I've been here. I've been sick more than I've been healthy since arriving. And I've not taught EBC at church since October, when all three of my students stopped coming. So though I decided to stay for a second year, that decision was reached only after wrestling with the Lord for several months. Ultimately, my decision to stay was based on my desire to be obedient to His will and to not miss out on whatever He wants to do in me and through me by being here. If I decide to leave as a result of these quakes, tsunami, and potential nuclear danger, I feel like though leaving is wise in man's eyes, it's disobedience in God's eyes. Please pray for me that I'll make a Spirit-led decision.

Until next time...